Monday, March 24, 2008


Massive Easter

I hope this does not offend any one. Just keep in mind I have a skeptical and distaste of organized religion.

Alan's family is Catholic and when we go home for the weekend it is expected for us to go to church. His mother is an uber conservative Church lady in uber conservative Mary Kay outfits, which is actually ironic, because her name is Mary Kay! Go figure. Anyway, nothing against my mother in law but I secretly think she thinks I am a heathen and that I took her son away from her and the Catholic church. I know this. Therefore I resent the fact that when I am at their house I am an assumed Christian made to go to Catholic church, which I enjoy just about as much as I like getting a root canal. Here are some of my observations:

When going to Mass, you will see all sorts. Hump-backed sweet little old ladies with a q-tip puff of cotton white hair, Asians, Blacks, Hispanics, White Upper Class, White Middle Class and Lower Middle Class. Love that.

I've been waiting for many, many years for the priest to hit me with his Holy Water simply so I can say to Alan "Ow, it burns!!". This has never happened and every Easter I get so close to being sprinkled, but it misses me every time.

The orchestra sucks.

This priest at the church really, really creeps me out. When he speaks spittle gathers at the corner of his mouth. So gross and disturbing this spittle is to me that I bury my head in the bible (this time I read the book of Ruth) while dodging disapproving glares from Alan's Mom.

You're not supposed to chew gum says Mary Kay, but I do anyway. Ha!

I always get trampled when everyone gets up for communion and I have to stay behind.
The only consolation prize for attending mass is the little kids who act innapropriately and scream and carry on.

Apparently the little bottles on the alter are not perfume bottles, but holy oil.

The pretty decorated box on the alter is not called the Jesus Box, it is the eucharist. Get it right or pay the price!

While I am not conservative by any means I do not find it in good taste to wear backless sundresses or swim suit cover ups to church. Yes, I saw this.

Now while these seem like complaints, and some of them are, I go to Mass with Alan's family for one reason and that reason is, are you ready....I do it out of respect for my Mother in law who believes in something with her entire being and I can respect that, and her. And we are only visiting every few months, what's it going to hurt me?

I'm still waiting on that Holy Water to hit me....

and burn.

Friday, March 21, 2008


A poem

This tweed couch sun fades
soft words were never spoken
lip to lip complete

salmon pink velvet skin
falling, falling deeper in
a sigh escapes you

Wednesday, March 19, 2008



I had a mini-meltdown at work today. There’s a lot to tell about why but really what it was is all the negative energy in the office. It was suffocating me today. I’m also extremely empathetic and I feel others unhappiness, deeply. I always want to fix it the problem and it’s hard for me to realize that it’s not mine to fix. I’m usually the class clown and can always make someone smile or laugh and even I wasn’t feeling like putting on a show today.

Either way, I ended up in the bathroom for a good ten minutes just bawling. I just felt so much sadness creeping in to me. I couldn’t get my shiz together. Just as soon as I’d wipe my eyes, fix my mascara and blow my nose I’d sob again.

I just wish things were a little different for all...

But I did go work out with my girl Jessy tonight and that made me feel loads better. We got to talking and laughing and I felt semi-normal again.

I’ve been really bothered by the fact that my father will not speak to me right now. I haven’t spoke to him since Christmas. I consistantly call him and leave voice mails. I even went so far as to ask his common law wife to have him call me.


I’m home now and I have a girls night (ME) planned out. I’ve got a glass of wine and I’m going to take a shower, give myself a facial, put on my glasses, get in my jammies, turn on Law and Order and dip into the new In Style and Elle Magazines that came in the mail this week.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008


I’m Going to Buy 4 Garbage Disposals!

I really resent the fact that an outstanding, young, bright and talented student at UNC got murdered. But what I really resent is the unfairness of the overexposure on the story. If Eve Carson were a black student at NCCU murdered in the same tasteless and pointless way that the real Eve Carson was killed I do not believe the story would have been as widley covered. Even if that make believe person from NCCU were student body president I don’t believe it would receive as much coverage or sympathy from the community. It’s not fair. And it happens all the time. What a waste.

Local events in Raleigh have really pissed me off as of lately. I’m not even going to go on my tirade here about the Garbage Disposal Ban in Raleigh, where I live. It really does make me want to buy a garbage disposal and install it in the shower just like Kramer did on Seinfeld.

I’ll just say shortly that it is my opinion that the government, both local and federal, has their dirty little hands in ever aspect of my life and I loathe it!

Saturday, March 15, 2008


I wanna wanna.

People keep telling me I need to get a dog before we have a baby. Although these people are well meaning and sincere in their opinion, I disagree for several reasons.

1.) Been there, done that. When my parents went through their seperation and later divorce in 2000 I had to take care of both a Miniature Pincher and a Boster Terrier (Mitzi and Bubba) basically all by myself. My mother moved into an apartment while my father and I resided in the house. My Dad works long hours, most nights not coming home until 9 or 10pm. I would come home from work and let the dogs out, feed them, bathe them, give them affection, etc. I was the primary care giver for those animals. I was also in my early 20's, going out all the time, being wild and reckless but I always, ALWAYS made sure my babies were fed and let out before having my fun. I also saw how unfair it was to have an animal that you don't have enough time for, which leads me to reason two:

2.) If Alan and I were to get a dog right now it would not receive the love and attention it deserves during the week. I leave the house at 6:55 am in the morning, Alan leaves at 7:30. We work 25 miles away from our house, meaning the dog would be alone until 6pm at night 5 days a week. Not fair at all.

3.) Our backyard is not fenced. We'd have to take the dog on walks at least 3-4 times a day and after writing reason number two it's just not possible.

But after saying all that I realize how much I really want a dog!! It's not in the cards right now though. I've been trying to work my magic into Alan because I want a Sphynx Cat but I just don't think he's going to go for it.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008


The Ceramic Dragon

Let’s talk about funny presents. Have you ever gotten a less than perfect present? Did you have your heart set on something totally different than what your loved one got you? How did you handle the situation? Did you pretend or tell the truth?

I think for my 22nd birthday Alan got me a giant rainbow irridescent colored ceramic dragon that was an incense burner. Included was over a thousand incense cones. The dragon would fume incense out of it’s nostrils, an effect I found humourous but kind of made me want to cry at the same time. While it’s true I like incense, and I did at one point like dragons a little bit, I was less than ecstatic by this gift. Charmed, yes (how odd and random can you be?). Neverless, the incense dragon was placed on the glass coffee table at the apartment Tammy and I shared. And the smoke that billowed out that poor dragon’s nose was fragrant like a dirty hippie.

Of course, anyone who knows my husband know he’s a bit odd. For example, he spent pretty much the whole day on Monday sorting out his wheat penny collection by year and then by mint.

Don’t get me started.

But I suppose that’s one of the reasons I love him. I’ve always loved and adored odd characters, someone who is not afraid to walk to the beat of another off tempo beat. There is something refreshing about his odd, yet genius ways and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Monday, March 10, 2008



We just got back from our honeymoon. We had a wonderful time! Stayed at an oceanfront hotel that was fabulous and had a hot tub in the room. It got a lot of use. Ate a lot of yummy seafood and frequented the local restaurants and bars.

I love Coastal NC. It's so charming and the little beach towns are so comforting and familiar to me. I love the dirtiness and honesty of it. I always said I would never live in a really small town but I would make an exception for a small beach town.

Phil watched my kitters while we were away and it was nice to see they weren't too traumatized. (just kidding Phil, we love you!) It's so funny, I always miss my babies when I am away but very rarely admit it because I know that I am only 40 years away from meeting my titled destiny title, "Crazy Cat Lady".

Today we went home improvement shopping and got some random items: toilet seat (the one upstairs is broken!) some wall anchors so I can install the shelves Jessy gave me and a kitchen cart, which is kind of like a rolling storage/workspace.

Tomorrow is back to work and back to normalcy. I'll start working out again on schedule and get the housework back on track. It's been nice to have a break from all that.

I think our friend Randy Powell will be coming in from Greensboro on Saturday to hang out and watch the ACC tournament. I'm really excited because I haven't kept up on basketball at all this year and I LOVE college basketball!

So that's pretty much all for now.

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