Monday, January 21, 2008
There are so many good things about being your daughter I don't even know when to start. Well, let me just say, like I've said before, when I get older and have a moment when I say "Oh my God, I've turned into my Mother", I won't mind at all. When others close to me say the same thing I will hold my head high and take it as the highest compliment.
You have always let me be me. When I was a little girl and wanted to wake up on my own and do my own hair you didn't cry because you didn't get to do those things anymore. You let me do it myself and taught me along the way. You let me pick out my own outfits and when I wanted to shave my legs you didn't say, "Oh no, you're not old enough!", you bought me a safe razor and showed me how. When I wanted to wear makeup and wasn't allowed I did it anyway. Instead of fighting with me we went and picked out sheer, Bonne Belle & Maybelline colors.
When I used to cry about my weight and how ugly I thought I was you were always there holding me and assuring me that I was not. You always listened to me and never told me I was silly or absurd. After all, those were my feelings.
You comforted me always in the middle of the night when I had night terrors. I would be too afraid to come wake you up so instead I would cry, "MOM!" in bed. Now that I am older and work 8 hour days I know how frustrating it must have been to wake up and come comfort a child. But you did it. You love me!
You've guided me along as a mother first and a best friend second. When I made the decision to move to North Carolina 2 years ago you were sad but you supported me the whole way. This was so difficult for you, and for me you should know. You knew that my happiness was important and I really respect you for that. Now I am so happy with the man I love but still missing my Mommy.
Sometimes when I think about being away from you I cry and cry. The thought of another year not close to you makes me almost physically ill and makes my heart literally ache. But I want you to know I'll be home. We'll be together again soon. We have to! I want you to be a grandmother to my children and I want to take care of you when you get really old. Really, I do.
I love you Momma and I can't think of a better Mother out there than you.
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