Tuesday, January 15, 2008


Little White Haired Old Ladies

Boring? Never!

As I get older and older it becomes more apparent to me that Mom was right: The world does NOT, in fact, revolve around me. <-----that's all I have to say about that right now. Just one of those kick you in the ass self realization moments. Isn't it special?

I had an interesting day:
Interesting Moment 1: I had to go to the gas station first thing in the morning. I went to the one in Garner off of 70 and Hammond. When I get there the employee in charge is pacing around yelling "Danny, Danny are you okay?!?" so I ask her what is going on and if I can help. She says there is a homeless man in the bathroom having a seizure again. She's asking me if I can hear him in there and if I know what to do. I tell her we need to call the ambulance. She replies "Last time I called 911 on him he got mad at me." At this point I go to the mens bathroom which is locked and knock on the door "Sir? Sir are you okay?" I hear a whole bunch of banging around and huffing and puffing in there, clearly, he's in distress. I tell the employee again that we need to call 911 and she is busy ringing people up who are now lined up to the door because of the delay on account of the emergency. I asked her for the phone, dial 911, tell them we have a man either having a seizure or heart attack in the bathroom and definetely needs medical attention. 911 assures me they'll be there ASAP. The employee thanks me and I leave and go on my merry effing Monday way.

Interesting Moment 2: I like to call this one: Drive By "Oooh, Grandma Straight Up Told YOU!!". I'm at Target on my lunch hour picking up air fresheners for the house and there is a huge, burley lumberjack type guy with a gravely voice on his cell phone talking loudly. Now, I am not bothered by people talking on their cell phone when shopping, it just doesn't irritate me, oddly enough. All the sudden I see a white haired old lady on a motorized shopping cart yelling at this guy on his cell phone, "You need to get off the G*d damn phone, hang the fucking phone up! You have no manners!" Paul Bunyan raises his eyebrows and keeps talking to the other person on the phone with no response to Grandma's outburst. I am thinking that maybe this old woman was his mother or someone he knew, surely this sweet little old lady wouldn't yell at someone like that?!? I'm baffled and tickled pink and laughing. I ask the guy that the lumberjack was shopping with "Do you know her?!?" and he says "No! She was yelling like that at kids in the toy aisle earlier!" At this point the lumberjack gets off the phone and lets loose a whole string of curse words telling the little old lady off, even though she has since moved on, presumably to harass other Target patrons.

And that, my friends, was what I like to call an "interesting" day.

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